Parenting Responsibility
August 7, 2011, 8:08 pm
Filed under: Love & Relating, Step-Parenting | Tags:

I believe you cannot be too upset by the choices your children make.  They are a direct representation of you and your parenting skills.  I also believe you must live the example you wish your children to be and to see.

If you want your child to grow up as an adult who is responsible and accountable for their feelings and emotions–you must be accountable for your emotions and feelings.  This means, you cannot fly off the handle the second something doesn’t go exactly how you would like it go.

If you want your child to be responsible with money or material possessions, make smart decisions, and be a contributing member of society– do not give your child everything, give them challenges to practice responsibility, and be a contributing member of society yourself.


If you would like your child to be accountable, be accountable.  Practice consistency and talk and reason through issues or problems.  Follow-through.  Return to issues and problems once they have been resolved and “check-in” with emotions and feelings.  This is going to reinforce accountability.


I know this is time consuming and tedious but do you realize you have the most important role on the planet? Raising and shaping the life of another human being? This is not to be ignored or taken lightly.  Parenting is full-time.  Even in your sleep, you are parenting.

I receive this information through observations of adults and children who are currently/have been in my life.  I also believe that if something doesn’t work–quit doing it.  Try something new.  Look at it with fresh eyes. People make mistakes. That is definitely understandable. Learn from your mistakes.  Loose your ego-if not for yourself, for the benefit of your childrens’ future.

aww parenting.
July 18, 2011, 2:25 pm
Filed under: Step-Parenting

Whether you say “aww parenting” or “AHHH!! PARENTING”… The fact of the matter is (and I’m sure I will offend someone somewhere), no one knows what they are doing when it comes to parenting.

I would call myself a little more educated in the parenting world than the average joe BUT that is only because I take a genuine interest in what parenting is and what makes a good or bad parent. I’ve read many books before I was taking care of children.  I should also mention, I only have a step-daughter at this point in my life.

All I’m saying is that there are too many variables to ever consider when communicating or raising another human being.  I believe that deliberate listening and speaking are very important–but duh, right?

At this moment, I have learned it is helpful to validate the feelings of a child no matter how absurd or silly they may seem to an adult.  We are adults.  We’ve been around this worldly block a few times, we have learned to expect a few things here and there.  We can understand what it means to be sarcastic because we have had experience with it.  We understand joking and exaggerating because we have learned through experience why those are all things that are important.  We have had our hearts broken when we hear about the the easter bunny and santa claus yet now we can understand why we keep this huge secret. (well, some of us have.  I still don’t get it and my heart is a little confused by it all hehe).  We understand when someone says, “yeah, why don’t you take your time we only have to be there in 5 mins,” that they are really being sarcastic and want you to hurry.   We understand that this is their way of being a jerk and dealing with their own emotions and we can roll our eyes and carry on with our tasks.  Children do not get it yet.

They hear the words you are saying and take it as truth.  What a world it would be if we could all maintain that purity?

I think encouraging children to speak about their feelings instead of catering to their grunts and moans and cries is extremely important.  This teaches them to listen to their feelings and act accordingly.  Think about it, if you were in a totally new experience, it would be difficult to understand what is going on in the world.  You would need to get your feet on the ground and understand your experience around you before you could begin to understand what is happening inside of your mind.  What a breath of fresh air it would be for someone to not only give you the space to figure out how you’re feeling but then encourage and inspire you to figure it out.  phew!

Children are constantly changing.  All. of. the. time.

Having a step-child, this is easy to see because she does not live in our house all of the time.  Parents with children in their homes may not see the subtle and slight changes as often.  It’s interesting to me, when babies are learning new things all of the time, we take notice and praise their advancement.  It seems around the age of 2, we stop noticing as much.  I don’t know about you but I’m 26, and I still feel like I’m learning new and interesting things about my existence on a pretty regular basis. I do my best to notice slight and subtle changes within myself.  I think it’s important to recognize this in each other as well.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about how to instill spirituality and gratitude in children. My mind has found this topic to be exciting and challenging! I have found a lot of great books to incorporate and games to play.  I also know that leading by example is the best solution.  One of the challenges I will face is consistency.  She will not always be at our house to experience that sort of life to adapt to her own life.

How would YOU teach children about recycling and respecting mother nature and all of her gifts and seeing the beautiful light in each one of us?


Hello! Welcome to my brain on your computer screen.  This is dedicated to my  thoughts, my experiences, and my questions along the journey we call life.  I use writing as an outlet to express myself and work-out complex emotions and ideas that leave me feeling confused and/or elated.

I am a young woman.  I am a Massage Therapist.  I am a girlfriend.  I am a Step-Mom. I am a dancer.  I am a Spiritualist.

I like being outdoors. I like gardening & flowers.  I like listening to music.  I like learning and pondering about the future and the world.

I plan to use this space to write about love, relating, politics, spirituality, challenges, and what makes happy.  I want to share with the blogging world what really moves me into feeling alive all the way to what challenges my experience.

Disclaimer: If you read something that mildly or severely upsets you or something you may think is about you, do not dwell on it.  I write for me–not you. This is my therapy.  I welcome comments, feelings, and beliefs but I refuse to take responsibility for your emotions–that is your job.