Something to be thankful for.
November 23, 2011, 4:43 am
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I’m struggling to find it.  I know I have a lot to be thankful for.  Family stuff is getting to be a little much this year.  My parents are planning to come to my house as I cook them Thanksgiving dinner. Micheal’s family is meeting later that evening.  I don’t want to rush my family out the door. I know my mother will be more concerned about me getting to his family.  I think sometimes she forgets she is a person with feelings, too.  I don’t know what I should do.   Micheal wants me to relax and not worry.  With all of the experiences from this year, how can I not worry? He says that it takes less energy to worry about it.  I agree, but I concern myself with the bigger picture. It’s hard for me to just go on through life and pretend like I’m not deeply hurt by the actions of the past. 

I just miss my childhood, big-family gatherings.  I wish I could experience that with my own family (Micheal & Isabelle).  My childhood family is now too large to gather more than once a year it seems. Micheals family makes me feel weird and awkward.  All I could have ever wished for was a family that welcomed me with open arms. ugh. i feel like crying.