I’m struggling to find it. I know I have a lot to be thankful for. Family stuff is getting to be a little much this year. My parents are planning to come to my house as I cook them Thanksgiving dinner. Micheal’s family is meeting later that evening. I don’t want to rush my family out the door. I know my mother will be more concerned about me getting to his family. I think sometimes she forgets she is a person with feelings, too. I don’t know what I should do. Micheal wants me to relax and not worry. With all of the experiences from this year, how can I not worry? He says that it takes less energy to worry about it. I agree, but I concern myself with the bigger picture. It’s hard for me to just go on through life and pretend like I’m not deeply hurt by the actions of the past.
I just miss my childhood, big-family gatherings. I wish I could experience that with my own family (Micheal & Isabelle). My childhood family is now too large to gather more than once a year it seems. Micheals family makes me feel weird and awkward. All I could have ever wished for was a family that welcomed me with open arms. ugh. i feel like crying.
